Connect x3: Realizations, Movement & Art

Hi friends,

Welcome to the first edition of Connect x3. Thinking about what connection means to me over the past couple of weeks has inspired me to approach the way I live with more openness to possibility. And to recommit to unapologetically following my curiosity. One never knows where their curiosity may lead, but it’s usually somewhere worthwhile — new friends or adventures, added knowledge or skills, and ideally, a better understanding of and empathy for someone else’s reality and experiences. 

Thank you to those who sent in stories already, whether for this week’s edition or future editions. If you didn’t get to submit a story of connection yet, I’d love to hear from you for upcoming editions. You can share a story by replying directly to this email. And if you need a prompt, try this: Write about a time when you connected with someone over a shared success, or by overcoming a challenge together. 

Now, as promised, below are this week’s 3 stories of connection. 

Connect soon,

Katie

P.S. If you know someone who may like this newsletter, feel free to forward this to them so they can subscribe. 

Connection through sharing realizations:

I was on a 40-mile bike ride with friends on a cold winter day. One of our friends was walking/running alongside us with two dogs. The collective age in dog years of the humans in the group was almost 1,800. Paraphrased bits and pieces of our conversation during the bike ride stuck out to me:

• Character 1, the dog walker (age 63, or 441 in dog years): “My husband retired, and within 6 months of him being home, we got a divorce.”

• Character 2, a cyclist (age 57, or 399 in dog years): “Today is our 29th wedding anniversary. My daughter wrote, ‘If I can find someone that makes me laugh in the way you two laugh when you’re together, I will feel blessed.’”

• Character 3, a cyclist (age 59, or 413 in dog years): “We went to therapy. I am now going alone. I did ask if he wanted a divorce. He said ‘no.’ I will keep plodding through the mistrust and built up resentment walking the tightrope of loving acceptance and my own assertiveness for something better.”

• Character 4, a cyclist, (age 72, or 504 in dog years): “We have been married for 42 years. I retired from medicine. Now I am spending time with my wife volunteering at food shelters. You know, people cheat. To me, cheating and marriage are like mixing ice cream with spinach. One may look like a dessert and is rich in ingredients, the other one is less appealing but keeps you fit and strong. My wife is my spinach and always has been.”

… meanwhile, imagined bits and pieces of conversation between the two dogs: 

• Dog on a leash #1- “Just keep walking, stop and pee, smell the hydrant, routine, routine, she has me on a leash; I can't wait to get off this leash, run and leave.”

• Dog on a leash #2- “Look on the bright side. We could be humans and be leashed to all these challenging feelings they’re talking about… and finding a toilet. Instead, on most days, we get to pee freely and outdoors.”

I had a larger realization after this day: Whether we are spinning on bikes, walking the dogs or the dogs being walked, we all feel some sort of leash, or tether. A deep love for someone that can either feel like a restriction or a source of security and strength. The sudden realization that the love you once had is no longer there. The need to stay grounded because you have to parent, lead or initiate change. Or the need to come to terms with the reality of your situation and what you can and cannot control about it. 

- Dan Haddow, Memphis 

Connection through movement: 

I was on a run, the Hudson River to my left and Riverside Park to my right. The sun was out, and it was an abnormally warm day for January in New York. I didn’t have any music on, so all I could hear was my breath, waves from the Hudson, the dull sound of traffic, and birds chirping. I was so overcome with gratitude for the weather and being able to be out running freely that before I knew it, my arms were outstretched, eyes slightly closed, and legs almost skipping. I felt like a Golden Retriever who’d been let off the leash for the first time. 

I quickly snapped out of it when I realized there were other people around and continued running ‘normally.’ When I turned around on the path to run back down towards my apartment, I spotted a woman walking. But when I got closer, I saw that she wasn’t walking at all – she was dancing freely to the beat of her own music, eyes closed, not a care in the world. For the rest of the run, I decided to emulate this woman’s energy. I ran with airplane arms, closed my eyes, skipped and smiled when I felt like it. 

- Katie Perkowski, New York 

Connection through art: 

I am an aspiring photographer. Well I mostly do this stuff for fun but I enjoy it very much. Photography helps me look at the world in a more creative way. It expresses me in ways I cannot write down for people. I take different types of photography, anywhere from action sports to rural photos, to bodies of water and my favorite… landscape photography. My vision is to bring my viewers deep into what I am seeing through my eye and out through my lens. People have a story to tell why not capture it instead of doing the "norm" and writing it down or speaking it. I hope to one day let people see what I see and to hopefully admire my work based on the quality and ideals of my work. So on that note, enjoy my page and let me know what you think.

- Tyre Nichols, Memphis, in memoriam and from his photography website

May we all do a better job of listening to better understand rather than to wait for our turn to speak; approaching different lived experiences with curiosity, empathy and a willingness to learn and adjust our points of view when they’re wrong; educating ourselves on societal injustices, speaking out against them, and intervening to stop them. Learn about ways to take action here.